Mamacitas in Montanitas

By Machete

It was the first sunny day since we had been on the coast. Holly ran through the water occasionally reaching for my hand. I followed. So did monkey. We made it back to town and walked the empty morning streets. We made it to her hotel.

It was a warm morning when she walked up the stairs and I followed and so did monkey.

"Quienes perro?" the proprietor said as we ignored and Holly knocked.

Jordan answered the door as Tor laid moaning in her bed due to his intense alcohol intake the night before. He laughed because my hair, face, and clothes were covered in sand. Monkey went under the bed and quickly fell asleep.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Tor asked.

"We slept on the beach." I said.

We weren´t in the room for more than thirty seconds when all of a sudden there was a loud crinkle sound and then a crash when the box fan that was sitting on the window sill crashed onto the metal awning, falling further to the street below.

"Did the fan just fall out the window?" Jordan asked.

We started laughing very loudly and then the owner knocked on the door. The door was opened. The owner looked in the room and saw four very confused people in a room that was supposed to have two. Two of these people were covered in sand from earlobe to ankle. There was a half drunk, half sleep deprived Aryan smoking a cigarette on the bottom bunk of a bed, a stray flea covered dog sleeping under the bed, and no fan in his hotel room window. It was seven in the morning.

He immediately started screaming at the girls demanding that they pay for the two strange men sleeping in the room. We tried to tell him in hung-over half spanish that we had slept on the beach, but he didn°t care. I paced the room with my cigarette in hand repeating the word no. The only way he would agree to leave was if the girls packed their shit and vacated the hotel that day.

The girls decided to go eat breakfast, come pack up and then leave Montanita that day. ( due to the incident in the hotel).

"Alright boys. Lets go." Jordan said as they began to leave for breakfast.

"We are just gonna stay here." I said. I hadn´t slept all night and all I wanted was to sleep in a bed even if it was for one hour. I had either slept on sand or on ground for the last week.

"I don°t know. Holly can they stay here?" Jordan asked.

"Sure." Holly said.

"I don°t know. Aren°t you guys gypsies? I don°t know if I like leaving gypsies in my room with all my stuff." Jordan said to me.

"You´re right to think that because we are gonna steal your shit and then dissapear." I said.

She finally agreed and they left the room. I layed in bed staring at the ceiling until they returned. I was trying to sleep when Jordan turned on the shittiest music I have ever heard. I dropped from the top bunk.

"Tor, back to the train."

"Yeah alright."

When we returned to the train, Tom was standing in his bathing suit wide eyed and vibrantly red. Alaena had just returned from the night before. She was incoherent and holding a Jingus and rolling around in the sun-warmed sand saying that she wished she never had to go to sleep again.

"What happened?" Tom asked Tor and I.

"Nothing Tom. Absolutely nothing." Tor replied.

"You motherfuckers, I knew you wouldn°t get shit. Zach I can understand, I mean he doesn´t have the golden dick, you Golden Dick dissapoint me. I´m removing your title." Tom walked back to the bus and put on his hat. "I need to go get some breakfast before I vomit."

Later in the afternoon, Tor and I refused to give up on the girls. They insisted on leaving Montanita, which I couldn´t blame them, this place was having an adverse affect on me. But we weren´t leaving, and they had no real reason to go, and we were horny. They made us beg them to stay all afternoon, which in some fucked up way Tor and I liked.

Where they went, we followed. At some point in late afternoon, Tor and I went to find the labido drainers when we saw Tom sitting in the middle of five or six people at some table at some bar telling the whole table, in prophetic high volume speech, that we were losers because we couldn´t get laid. I think Tom had told everyone in town.

"There they are, the hunters. Little puppies. Following their little girlfriends around like little puppies. You´re not gonna get anything. They got you morons." The people at the table laughed and laughed.

For the rest of the afternoon, while we tried to convince the girls to stay, we avoided Tom at all costs, running from him as he called us out. At one point, when we were right on the brink of convincement, Tor looked at me, "Shit! It´s Tom."

We ran down the beach rushing the girls along so they couldn´t hear Tom´s insults. If they did it might have ruined our chances of getting laid because they would have known that we told that harassing, rude old man everything.

To finish the story, the girls stayed, but Tom didn°t shut the fuck up all day.