Tuesday, June 29, 2010

A Letter from California

I recieved this email a few days ago from an old friend of Tom´s and I would just like to share it with our readers...

I've been enjoying your blog immensely! My wife and I are old friends of the very dangerous cargo you've decided to transport all over Ecuador (the infamous Mr. Dempsey) and can easily picture Our Hero late at night in the bars you've written about with his 34th cig in one hand and 52nd beer in the other, paralyzing some unfortunate bartender with a long winded and excruciatingly detailed story of some minor event in Tom's life. I can only hope that the recipient of the soliloquy doesn't understand English.

This has gotten great reviews back in the States:

'For example, the first night we were sitting around the fire and Tom looks at Mattias, one of the Germans who was eating a can of Tuna, and says, "Just like a fucking German, eating a can of fish at ten o´clock at night." The group erupted with laughter.'

I felt like I was there by the fire, watching the scene unfold, though I absolutely know with diamond bullet certainty that the line was "Just like a fucking Kraut, eating a can of fish at ten o´clock at night."

The next time Tom goes off on a tirade or is less than polite, casually tell him "Hey Tom... Nick and Shirley just called from California. They want me to tell you to shut the fuck up." That'll blow his mind.

Have fun. And though I know he won't offer if there is any promise at all of laying in the back drinking beer with cute Euro-girls, he's perfectly capable of helping to drive the bus. I've seen him deftly maneuver a 3 ton John Deere 5000 series tractor like a ballet dancer while sporting a World Cup-level hangover and juggling a bottle of Bud and a pack of Marlboros. It was both a thing of beauty and a obscenity-filled train wreck all at the same time.



...I did tell Tom to shut the fuck up from Nick and Shirley, but it didn´t work.

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